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Come on to her sideways - pull harder
Just a piss cuttin her - going faster
Off in the roses - got off track either talking or driving
Keep her betweeen the ditches - when someone is drifting lanes
You gilpoked her - when something in front of you sticks into the ground and fetched you up ie carrying a long stick or if a wagon comes unhitched and pole digs into the ground
 

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One phrase I've heard since moving here five years ago that might be unique to Wisconsin - or at least the upper Midwest - is referring to a kind and decent person as a "good shit".

"Yeah Frank came over and helped me get the baler running."

"Well, that was nice of him to do."

"Yeah that Frank, he's a good shit."

"Yeah he is. His wife's a good shit too, she's the same - she'd do anything for anybody."

Leave it to the land of cheese (and beer) to equate the quality of one's character to a pleasantly successful bowel movement...
 

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That's used in parts of Canada too.

One phrase I've heard since moving here five years ago that might be unique to Wisconsin - or at least the upper Midwest - is referring to a kind and decent person as a "good shit".

"Yeah Frank came over and helped me get the baler running."
"Well, that was nice of him to do."
"Yeah that Frank, he's a good shit."
"Yeah he is. His wife's a good shit too, she's the same - she'd do anything for anybody."

Leave it to the land of cheese (and beer) to equate the quality of one's character to a pleasantly successful bowel movement...
 

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That fella is richer than 3 feet up a bulls ass.

That boy is so skinny he has to run around the shower to get wet.

That girl is so ugly that when she sits in the sand, cats try to bury her.

That man is so tight that he throws quarters around like they were manhole covers.

Regards, Mike
 

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If brains was gas, you wouldn't have enough to propel a piss-ant's skateboard around the inside of a cheerio.

If brain's was dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose.

You need to have a piece of plexiglass installed in your stomach...that way you can still see with your head so far up your ….

Your brain in a thimble would be like a BB in a freight car.

I WAS going to be a liberal for Halloween, but my chiropractor couldn't get me limber enough to stick my head up my ….

My favorite one to young children goes like this:
ME: How old are you?
Him/her : Ten
ME: You kids have it too dang easy these days, by the time I was YOUR age, I was already twelve.
You get some PRICELESS looks out of the kids that get it.

Mark
 

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That guy's so cheap, he'd squeeze a buffalo nickel to get the manure for his garden!

Dollar waiting on a dime! (said when helper isn't fast enough)

Six men up a guy stub, and no hand line! (said when unprepared for job)
 
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“Not a real farmer” farmer
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Couple more:

"Cummings" instead of "Cummins" (Diesel engine)

" nK" instead of "OK".
Q: "Want to go down to Louie's bar for a beer?"
A: "nnK"
And one of my my all time favorites, used only in South Philly and a County next to it called Delco where they say "keller" instead of "color". Like someone will say to you, "that's a really pretty keller", instead of "that's a really pretty color"
 

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There's a "shorthand" here too, which took me a while to figure out...

Like when one guy says to another guy, "Hey guy, want to go tavi this aft?"

"Sure guy, let me finish this here one time and I'll be by you"

Meaning, "Do you want to go to the bar this afternoon for a beer?", and "Yes, when I'm done with what I'm working on, I'll meet you at your place".

Tavi = tavern

Aft = afternoon

It was sort of confusing to someone like me from the east coast, but I like it here!
 

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One I heard mostly from my Dad was:
"they would not work in a pie factory". Meaning nothing would suit him. Or no job was good enough for them.

One thing I like about our country is the local terms and yes accents. Living in the South still enjoy a true Southern accent which sadly is less and less here and the Boston and some others.
 

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"Day late and a dollar short"

"He'd have to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dogs to play with him."

"I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole."

"That's like pissing over a ten rail fence."

"I'd rather be in Hell with a nail in my foot."

"Useless as tits on a boar hog."

"That girl could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch." (Okay. I'm going to stop with that one....)
 

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One I heard mostly from my Dad was:
"they would not work in a pie factory". Meaning nothing would suit him. Or no job was good enough for them.

One thing I like about our country is the local terms and yes accents. Living in the South still enjoy a true Southern accent which sadly is less and less here and the Boston and some others.
Yeah I remember as a kid when we went to my aunt's place in South Carolina... once you got into Louisiana it was like a different language... which was distinct from Mississippi, which was different than the accent of Alabama folks, which was different from Georgia, where the "southern drawl" was an art form, and similar in South Carolina (my aunt and her family lived in Iva, near Spartanburg, and just over the Georgia line from Lake Hartwell...)

I mean it was hard to even understand what folks were saying over there "in the South"... I mean, us *Texans*, we talk "normal"... we don't have an accent (LOL...) But it *used* to be a LOT different back then... I guess a lot of it was the "older generation", and since that generation and the one after it is gone now, and with all the "carpetbaggers" and other "imports" that have moved into that part of the world, it has REALLY diluted the old accents and local dialects to the point that it's a mere shadow of even what it was in the mid-70's when I was a kid...

Course, I got an education when I had a girlfriend in New Jersey and went up there for the first time... I had driven all night and arrived about 5 am in town, so I parked at the far end of the local grocery store parking lot and grabbed a couple hour nap. Then when the store opened about 7 I went in to get a dozen roses to surprise my girlfriend. Course I was tired, but I went into the store and looked around for the plants and stuff... and couldn't find it... So after wandering around the store a few minutes, I saw a woman doing some stocking on the shelves, and I walked up to her and said, "S'cuse me, maam, but can you tell me where yall keep the flowers?" I guess it sounded funny to her, because she said, in a perfect "Edith Bunker" Queens brogue, "What, FLY-UHZ?? Like for a PAH-TEE??" (flyers for a party)... In fairness due to my tiredness I probably said something that sounded more like "FLARS" than "Flowers"... I said, "No maam, flars, like daisies, and pansies, and roses, and violets and stuff like 'at..." She doesn't miss a beat, and in her Edith Bunker voice says, "Oh, you mean FL-Oww-UHzzz... Oh, they're over on aisle five hun..." I replied, "Thank ya" and went on my way...

They seemed to think my accent was quite amusing. I don't think I even have one. Course all their accents were plenty funny to me as well...

Later! OL J R :)
 

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Ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road!

Nothing between here and the north pole but a barbed wire fence --- and it's been cut!
 
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Colder than a well digger's ass.

Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.

Hotter than a half fu&^ed fox in a forest fire.

Sweating like a ni^%er trying to read.

Sweating like a whore in church on confession day.

Sweating like a ni^&er in a three piece suit in court.

Slicker than snail shit.

Slicker than snot on a hot tin roof.

Slicker than goose shit on a pump handle.

He's so dumb he don't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

He's so dumb he couldn't find his ass with both hands, three mirrors and a flashlight.

Talking to you is like talking to that tree over there.

That's like putting an elevator in an outhouse - it just don't belong.

That's dumber than a screen door in a submarine.

That tractor/truck/car/whatever runs like a raped ape.

That field's so rough I was bouncing around like a whore on a sack of apples.

That truck rides as bad as a lumber wagon.

And a few more I just caint seem to remember...years of farming and trucking has let me hear lots of them.
 
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