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· Registered
211 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just curious as to what are different and unique sayings you've grown up with. I hope a lot of these have been passed down through the generations. Thought it would be neat to see what's been said.

Funny, insulting, wisdom sayings... All I ask is that we keep them clean.

For example:

"Dumber than a bag of hammers"

"If the world was as perfect as you, it'd be a great place to live!"



· Super Moderator
10,717 Posts
Not the brightest peanut in the turd

Rain came down like a horse pissing on a flat rock

A few cans short of a six pack

Plant in the dust, your bins will bust (absolutely no dust to plant in this year)

Flakier than a leper colony

· Registered
3,887 Posts
Worthless as a screen door on a submarine.

Not the sharpest tack in the box.

He/she was never invited to set in front of the bus.

Popular as a fart in church.

I might have been born at night, but it wasn't yesterday.

About as exciding as kissing your sister.

His/her spouse is so ugly, they take them everywhere with them, so they don't have to kiss them goodbye.

Snow in May, makes lots of hay.

And a little twist on Cy's

Plant when lilac leaves are as big as a mouse's ear.


· Goontard
1,687 Posts
Worthless as tits on a boar

Raining like pouring piss out of a boot.

Ain't smart enough to come in out of the rain.

Ain't smart enough to pour piss out of a boot even if the directions were on the heel.

(been told this to my face many times) Windier that a sack full of a$$holes

(been told this to my face many times) Windy enough to blow up an onion sack til it pops

Tougher than woodpecker lips

Tighter than dick's hatband

Tighter than a gnat's ass stretched around a rainbarrel

Gooder than snuff and not half so dusty (response when asked how you're doing)

(another response when asked how I'm doing) Doing so damn good, I gotta sit on my hands to keep from clapping

(another response when asked how I'm doing) Ifn I was any better, I'd hafta be twins.

He/SHe's so dang fat, ifn she jumped into the air, she'd get stuck.

I'd like to buy you for what you're worth and sell you for what you THINK you're worth.

(usually body odor) Could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon.

Slicker that a gut

Slicker that owl sh!t

Harder'n a forty dollar crow bar

Meaner'n a snake

…I could go on for days; I pretty well speak in metaphors and insults as I like to see/make people laugh.


for folklore (planting turnips), Plant the 10th of July wet or dry; pick 'em the 10th of October drunk or sober.

· Super Moderator
10,717 Posts
So tight when they fart only a dog can hear it.

Plant when the lilacs bloom.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

· An ounce of doing is worth a pound of talk
1,240 Posts
He's so tall he could stand flat footed and shit in a dump truck.

He is so dumb he could not find his own ass with both hands, a guide, and a map.

That car has the clearance of a piss ant.

Does not have the brains that God gave a goose.

Mountain Dew it, monkey screw it.

· Hay Master
2,171 Posts
She is so ugly, she has to sneak up on the dipper to get a drink

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch.

He is so tight he squeaks whe he walks.

Colder than a well digger's ass.

Hotter than the hinges of hell.
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